In a coaching session last week:

Client: ‘I feel nervous in presentations.’

Me: ‘What do you say to yourself during a presentation?’

After a long silence, she said, ‘I ask myself “is my English good enough..? Am I clear enough? Oh I forgot the word.. Oh am I using the right word?” Today I wanna talk about whether I need to take English class.’

‘There are a few things. First, when you say ‘I didn’t go to an International school. That’s why I don’t have a natural accent.” is this a problem or a solution?’

‘It’s neither.’

‘How about if I say it’s a fact from the past that we can’t change anymore. That’s why we’re upset when we think about it. It does nothing but drains our energy. Instead, how about if we focus on what we can change?’

I probe further, ‘How do you decide your English is not good?’

‘I don’t use fancy words. I receive emails from colleagues and they use fancy words. That’s cool. When I see the new words, I look them up, write them down, so I can use them next time.’

‘Right! Sounds like you are doing the right thing already!’

‘True.’

‘What evidence do you have that shows that your English isn’t good?’

‘Eh…’

‘Sounds like you have none? What evidence do you have that shows that this thought might not accurately reflect reality?’

‘My customers know what I’m talking about. My colleagues have said I’m good.’

‘That means this statement “My English isn’t good” isn’t true?’

Silence.

‘And how did you decide that fancy words means you are an effective communicator?’

‘…’

‘What’s the percentage of people who you work with, or your clients, is native English speakers?’

‘1%..’

‘If you used fancy words, how many of them would actually know what you mean?’

‘…’

‘If you were them, and you spoke with someone who used big words you can’t understand, how would you feel?’

‘Embarrassed..’

‘What would you really care about if you were your customers?’

‘That they go through what I need quickly. Direct and simple. I have no time.’

‘Yea!’

‘Actually I use simple English.’

‘And how has it worked?’

‘It’s easy to understand.’

‘So what’s wrong with that? Why do you have to copy others? Why can’t you be yourself?’

‘…’

‘Do you still think you need to take English class?’

‘No.’