This is so well said! Yes, we don’t enjoy being told what to do so why should we tell ourselves what to do?

For example:

‘I should work hard.’

‘I should be making $x at this stage of my life.’

‘I should be in xx position at this age.’

‘I should know what to say in the meeting.’

‘I should be articulate & eloquent.’

I recently learnt – what we think we need to be may not be ‘true’. 

Instead, we can benefit from examining our own thoughts: 

’Is it something somebody else wants for me?’

‘what am I telling myself now?’

‘What evidence do I have for that?’ 

‘What assumptions am I making?’